2 axes · 48 statements · a scientific model

Attachment style test Your point on the map of closeness

Attachment style is the way you build close relationships: how you handle distance, ask for support and let people in. The four styles — secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful-avoidant — are not labels but regions on a map of two axes: attachment anxiety and attachment avoidance. You answer 48 statements about yourself — and get your point on that map and the 12 facets it is made of: not «you are the anxious type», but which anxiety and which avoidance sound in you and what they do to your relationships. 48 questions, 7–8 minutes; taking the test is free, no sign-up.

See how it works

Your point on the map and 12 facets — right after the answers, free · Full analysis — 790 ₽

  • Fear of rejection
  • Need for reassurance
  • Sensitivity to distance
  • Discomfort with closeness
  • Self-reliance only
  • 48statements, 7–8 minutes
  • 2axes: anxiety and avoidance
  • 4styles — as regions on a map
  • 1point on the map — instead of a label

Demo

Four statements out of forty-eight

The full test shows six statements per screen and five agreement steps — from «not me at all» to «exactly me». Answer about how it usually is for you in close relationships, not how you would like it to be.

These four come from the anxiety axis. There are no right answers.

Anxiety in close relationships

At easeAnxious

Answer about how it usually is, not about how it should be.

0 of 4 answered
If someone close takes long to reply, I start running through what could have happened
not me at allexactly me

Four items measure almost nothing — that is why the band is this wide. In the full test it is narrowed by 48 statements, 12 facets and reversed items. There are no percentiles here: this test has no normative sample, and we will not invent one.

The honest frame

A style is a map, not a brand

«I am the anxious type» sounds like a verdict. «Right now my anxiety is high and my avoidance is low» sounds like a point on a map you can move from.

The internet is full of tests that hand out one of four labels with a horoscope-grade description attached. We score two axes and show a point: the borders between styles are conventions, the style depends on the particular relationship and shifts with experience — psychologists call it earned security. So we will not tell you «you are avoidant forever» — we will show what exactly is pronounced in you and what can be done with it.

2 axes

instead of one label out of four. Anxiety and avoidance are independent dimensions: both can be high at once, and that region of the map exists too.

12 of 48

items are reversed. They break the automatic «yes, that is me» and stop the test from dragging you into the most dramatic type when your answers do not support it.

Zero verdicts

A style is a region on a map, not a diagnosis. If your point sits near a border, we will say exactly that — instead of stretching the most striking label over you.

What the test sees

Two axes, twelve facets

Six facets describe the anxiety axis — what happens inside when closeness is under threat. Six describe avoidance: how much closeness you can carry and how easy it is to lean on another person. Your point on the map is built from all twelve.

Axis: anxiety

Fear of rejection and loss

How quickly a pause, coldness or someone's mood turns into the fear of being abandoned — and how often the one to blame turns out to be you.

Facets inside

  • fear of rejection
  • self-blame in relationships

What matters here. A separate facet is self-blame: the habit of looking for the cause of someone's distance in yourself. It resembles conscientiousness but works differently — and the analysis keeps them apart.

Axis: anxiety

Need for reassurance

How much you need to hear and see to believe things are fine — and how much space the relationship takes in your head when you are apart.

Facets inside

  • need for reassurance
  • preoccupation with the relationship

What matters here. What everyday language calls emotional dependency is most often these two facets. But the need for reassurance is not «low self-esteem» — it is a setting of the attachment system: about the bond, not about self-worth.

Axis: anxiety

Sensitivity to distance

The reaction to an unanswered message, a postponed meeting and «let's talk later»: curiosity and calm — or anxiety with checking.

Facets inside

  • reaction to distance
  • wariness of cooling signals

What matters here. Jealousy and monitoring — statuses, re-read conversations — turn out in research to be a consequence of this wariness rather than a separate trait. So they are resolved by working with the anxiety itself, not by forbidding yourself things.

Axis: avoidance

Discomfort with closeness

What happens when a relationship becomes genuinely close: freedom and warmth — or the urge to step back, close off part of yourself and exhale alone.

Facets inside

  • discomfort with closeness
  • closedness
  • relationships as secondary

What matters here. Being closed off is not secrecy: it is the price the avoidance axis pays for safety. The analysis shows where it protects — and where it already gets in the way.

Axis: avoidance

Self-reliance only

What you do under stress: go to someone close — or cope alone and tell the story later, when it no longer hurts. And whether you believe people can be leaned on at all.

Facets inside

  • self-sufficiency
  • distancing under stress
  • distrust of leaning on others

What matters here. Self-reliance looks like strength and often is. The axis asks a different question: do you still have a choice — or has asking simply become impossible. The extreme form of this facet is called counterdependency.

Scoring

How the result is calculated

  1. Step 1

    48 statements, five agreement steps

    Four items for each of the twelve facets — from «not me at all» to «exactly me». What counts is how you answer about yourself — there are no right answers.

  2. Step 2

    Some items are reversed

    12 of 48 are phrased «the other way round» and flipped when scored. They break automatic answers and protect the result from drifting into drama.

  3. Step 3

    The two axes are scored apart

    Anxiety and avoidance are independent dimensions, not two ends of one ruler: both can be high. That is exactly why the result is a map, not a single scale.

  4. Step 4

    A style is a region on the map

    A point with two coordinates lands in the secure, anxious, avoidant or fearful-avoidant region. A point near a border is honestly called a point near a border.

Why there are no percentiles here

This test has no normative sample, so «more anxious than 72% of people» would be an invention. The scales show how pronounced each facet is in YOUR answers — that is enough to see your point on the map.

Fear of rejection and loss72 · strongly present
0 — not present100 — strongly present

How it goes

How the test goes

Forty-eight statements about yourself in relationships is a conversation with yourself, and we built it so it never turns into an exam: you can stop at any moment and come back.

  • 01

    One flow, no «Next»

    Every statement in a single flow: after you answer, the page glides to the next unanswered one by itself. Five agreement steps, from «not me at all» to «exactly me».

  • 02

    Progress always in sight

    The «N of 48 answered» counter and the progress bar stay pinned to the top; unanswered items light up if you try to submit too early.

  • 03

    Stop and come back

    A draft saves itself: close the tab and you will return to the same spot. Answer about the relationship you want to understand; we never ask for names.

The result

What you will see after the test

On the right is a sample result page with the real block structure. The numbers are illustrative — yours will be your own.

Free, right after the test

  • Your point on the two-axis map — anxiety and avoidance, computed from your answers
  • Your style as a region of the map — with an honest note if the point sits near a border
  • All 12 facets with zones
  • One facet opened in full — the one that stands out most

Full analysis — 790 ₽

  • What your point means: which anxiety and which avoidance sound in you and how they combine
  • How it works in life: closeness, conflict, a pause in messaging, asking for support
  • Compatibility: what happens in a couple where different regions of the map meet — including the famous anxious-avoidant swings
  • The strengths of your style: what is genuinely fine about you — from the reversed items, honestly and specifically
  • Where such a pattern usually comes from and what helps to shift towards the secure region
  • Ready-made phrases: how to ask for support and how to talk about distance — words you can actually say
  • A permanent link to the analysis + an email copy

Not a subscription and not a course: one payment — a finished reading that stays yours for good. Mir, Visa, Mastercard.

Why this works

Half a century of closeness research — in two axes

Attachment theory is one of the best-tested frames in relationship psychology: from infant observation to years-long studies of adult couples. We take its modern measurement form — two axes — and speak honestly about the limits.

  • 1969

    John Bowlby publishes «Attachment»: the need for reliable closeness is a basic human need, not weakness and not «dependency».

  • Ainsworth

    Mary Ainsworth's «Strange Situation» experiment first describes attachment styles through observable behaviour — measurement starts here.

  • 1987

    Hazan and Shaver show the same patterns read in adult romantic love. Adult attachment psychology begins with that work.

  • 2 axes

    The modern measurement standard is not four boxes but two continuous axes: anxiety and avoidance (the ECR family of inventories, 1998–2000). A style is a region on their map — and that is how we score.

  • 48 items

    Every wording is written by us. The construct is free; the specific wording of other inventories is not.

  • It shifts

    A 59-year longitudinal study showed anxiety and avoidance decrease with age, and relationship experience predicts both axes going down. It is called earned security — the best news this test carries.

  • What the test measures

    How pronounced anxiety and avoidance are in your close relationships — from your answers about yourself today.

  • What it does not measure

    Diagnoses and your partner. The test is about you: it does not type another person from a distance — for the person next to you there is a separate test.

  • Context matters

    With different people the style can sound different: calmer with one, more anxious with another. Answer about the relationship you want to understand — that is more honest than any «type forever».

Honest limitations. This is an educational tool, not a diagnosis and not counselling. The test has no normative sample — there will be no percentiles and no «±N accuracy». A style is a region on a map, not a verdict: it does not predict the fate of a relationship and never decides for you whether to stay or to leave. If a relationship makes you fear for your safety, you need a live specialist, not a test.

Sounds familiar?

If this rings a bell

  • Silence louder than words

    When someone takes long to reply, you re-read the conversation looking for your mistake. That is not «overthinking» — that is the anxiety axis, and it has mechanics.

  • Too close feels stuffy

    When a relationship becomes genuinely close, you want to step back and exhale. That is the avoidance axis — not «an inability to love» and not a fear of relationships as a verdict.

  • The push-pull swings

    You crave closeness, but when it happens — anxiety. The emotional swings are what both axes being high at once feel like, and that region of the map has a name.

  • After a break-up

    To work out what that was and why you keep being drawn to emotionally unavailable people: your own point on the map explains partner choice better than a horoscope.

  • As a couple

    Partners with different styles keep fighting about the same thing: one needs closer, the other needs air. The test helps name it without blame — each takes it about themselves.

  • Simply to know yourself

    The secure region is a result too: to see what is fine about you and understand what it rests on.

Method

The test in detail

What the test measures, how the two axes and 12 facets are built, why a style is a region on a map, what you get in the analysis and what we do not promise — for those who want the full picture first.

  • Modern attachment psychology measures not «a type out of four» but two independent axes. Anxiety — how quickly distance and someone's mood turn into fear of losing the bond. Avoidance — how much closeness you can carry and how easy it is to lean on another person. The axes are independent: both can be high at once, or both low — which is exactly why the result is a map, not a single scale.

    Each axis is built from six facets of four statements — 48 items in total with five agreement steps. Twelve items are reversed: they are flipped when scored and protect the result from drifting into drama.

    • Signs of the anxiety axis: fear of rejection, self-blame, need for reassurance, preoccupation with the relationship, reaction to distance, wariness of cooling signals.
    • Signs of the avoidance axis: discomfort with closeness, closedness, relationships as secondary, self-sufficiency, distancing under stress, distrust of leaning on others.
    • The style is the region your point lands in: secure, anxious, avoidant or fearful-avoidant (also called disorganized; in the child literature the anxious one is anxious-ambivalent).
  • Secure — both axes low: closeness does not frighten, distance does not destroy, asking for support and giving it are equally possible. Anxious — high anxiety with low avoidance: closeness is deeply needed, and its possible loss takes up a lot of mental space. Avoidant — the mirror image: closeness quickly becomes «too much», and the only reliable support is yourself. Fearful-avoidant — both axes high: closeness is wanted and frightening at once, hence the push-pull swings.

    An important honesty: the borders between regions are conventions, and the style depends on the particular relationship — calmer with one person, more anxious with another. The style you get describes how you answer today and the relationship you had in mind. It shifts with the experience of secure relationships — researchers call it earned security.

    • Your point on the two-axis map, computed from your answers, — and the style as a region with an honest note if the point sits near a border.
    • All 12 facets with zones: not present, noticeable, strongly present.
    • A reading of which anxiety and which avoidance sound in you — not «you are anxious», but what it is made of.
    • How it works in life: closeness, conflict, a pause in messaging, asking for support.
    • What is genuinely fine about you — from the reversed items, and what it rests on.
    • What helps to shift towards the secure region — without promises to «fix it in a week».
  • It does not diagnose: an attachment style is not a disorder but a style, and every style has its own logic and its own strength. It does not type your partner from a distance: the test is about you, and for the person next to you this section has a separate test. It does not advise you to leave or to stay and does not predict the fate of a relationship — the map explains mechanics, the decisions remain yours.

    The test has no normative sample, so there will be no percentiles and no «±N accuracy» — only honest scales built from your answers. A questionnaire is not a clinical interview: research shows they are different instruments measuring different things, and we do not pass one off as the other. If a relationship makes you fear for your safety, you need a live specialist, not a test.

Questions

Frequently asked questions

What people ask most: which attachment styles exist, whether yours can change, what a couple with different styles should do, and what exactly you would pay for. Straight answers — no fine print.

  • Four: secure, anxious, avoidant and fearful-avoidant — also called disorganized; in the child literature the anxious one is called anxious-ambivalent. Finding your style from article descriptions is hard: almost everyone recognises themselves in several at once. That is why modern inventories measure not «a box of four» but two axes — anxiety and avoidance — and the style is a region on their map. You get not just the name of a region but the point itself with 12 facets: two people of «the anxious type» can be built very differently.

  • The signs of the anxiety axis are the fear of losing the bond: silence and distance quickly turn into anxiety, and reassurance is needed — what everyday language often calls emotional dependency. The signs of the avoidance axis are the price of closeness: when a relationship gets tight, you want to step back, and asking for support is harder than coping alone; its extreme form is called counterdependency. They are independent: both can be high — that is the fearful-avoidant region, the emotional push-pull swings.

  • Yes — and that is a measured fact, not a slogan: the axes shift with age and with the experience of secure relationships; psychologists call it earned security. There are no quick fixes, but the direction is known: understanding your own mechanics, relationships you can lean on, and work with a specialist. The analysis shows which facet to start from in your case.

  • No. «Anxious + avoidant» couples do keep fighting about the same thing — one needs closer, the other needs air — but that is a conflict of settings, not of compatibility. When both see their points on the map, «you are cold» versus «you are suffocating me» becomes a conversation about distance that can be adjusted. And an honest research detail: your own insecurity affects relationship satisfaction more than your partner's — starting with your own axis pays off more. Each partner takes the test about themselves — we never type anyone from a distance.

  • The foundation forms in early relationships with caregivers — that is the core of Bowlby's and Ainsworth's attachment theory. But the adult style is not a cast of childhood: significant relationships, losses and the experience of reliability rebuild it. That is why we ask how you answer today, not «what was your childhood like», — and that is why the style can change.

  • No. An attachment style is not a disorder and not a diagnosis — it is a style: every region of the map has its own logic, strength and price. The analysis always includes a «what is fine about you» block built from the reversed items. If a relationship makes you fear for your safety, you need a live specialist — no test replaces that.

  • No. Average sex differences in research are small, and the spread within each sex is huge: the signs of the avoidant attachment style occur in men and women alike, as do the anxious ones. A style is built from relationship experience, not from sex — and the test scores your answers, not a stereotype.

  • Levine and Heller's book gave the field its vocabulary, and if you have read it, you already know the styles. The test adds what a book cannot: your own numbers on the two axes, 12 facets and a reading written for your point specifically, not for a type description written for everyone. You already have the label — what comes next is the interesting part.

  • We measure a construct with half a century of research behind it and a standard two-axis model (the ECR family of inventories). But our item bank has no normative sample — so we honestly show how pronounced each facet is in your answers and do not invent comparisons like «more anxious than N% of people». The reversed items — 12 of 48 — additionally protect against answer drift.

  • Free: your point on the two-axis map, the style as a region, all 12 facets with zones and one facet opened in full. 790 ₽ unlocks the full analysis: what your point means, how it works in your relationships, what is fine about you, where such a pattern comes from and what helps to shift towards the secure region. One payment, no subscription.

Start

Take the test and see your point on the map

48 statements, 7–8 minutes. Taking it is free, the point on the map and the facets show right away; the full analysis is 790 ₽.

This is an educational test: an attachment style is not a diagnosis but a style, and it describes your answers today, not you forever. The test does not type your partner, does not judge your relationship and never advises you to leave or to stay. If a relationship makes you fear for your safety, reach out to a specialist or a crisis line.